Samhain Beginnings

 

Samhain marked a new period of growth and learning for me. Although I haven't chosen a particular path for my studies or religion, I decided that I would start a year and a day of immersion in pagan ways. It feels odd to make that commitment, especially since I've been so quiet on this blog for so long. I promise I didn't fall off the face of the earth, I just couldn't find new things to blog about at the time. I followed the moon cycles, I listened to others, I read books, but I was on the outside looking in for the most part. This second year I plan to do more, to involve myself more, and to grow more in this path.

The witch's new year seemed like the perfect time to turn over a new leaf and dedicate myself more fully to this learning. I spent Samhain visiting my family's graves and considering whether I felt a closeness with them that was different from other times of the year. Whether I felt them draw closer through the veil or not, I did feel comfortable with mentally communing with their memories, sharing news and leaving a fall leaf in remembrance.

I read Ellen Dugan's chapter on Samhain in Seasons of Witchery. It was interesting to pass by neighbors sitting out by their flickering pumpkins or fire pits to hand out candy, thinking of the fire festival nature of Samhain and how appropriate it is that we continue to observe the old customs, whether we know it or not. I'm finding that it is the connection in our traditions that draws me most, wondering what my ancestors thought and did at these same times so many years ago. What meanings did they see, or how were they different? I long to know their thoughts, and can see with new understanding why pagans might use Samhain as a time to communicate with those who have passed on.

So, that is my beginning for this new year. I still observe the secular holidays, of course, so Thanksgiving is now taking over my thoughts, but even then the Samhain season lingers as the final harvest festival and a time to connect with family past and present. I love this new depth to my spiritual thoughts. I hope to continue this throughout the coming year, and perhaps add things more purposefully to my practice as well as my learning.

A blessed Samhain season to everyone...I hope this time of reflection is helpful to us all.

Spiritual Evolution

It's hard to believe that there have been more than one turn of the seasons since the last time I wrote for this blog. Not that I haven't thought of things I'd like to post, but nothing coalesced properly or in a timely manner. Today I've had the benefit of time and thought converging, finally...thus, a post!

I have been watching the pagan community on YouTube for months now, listening to the thoughts of several different paths and seeing the demonstrations of practice. It's a wonderful place to gain first-hand experiences and differing points of view, and I enjoy each new post that pops up.

Something that has always bothered me about my own spiritual journey, and something that has come up in a few different YouTube videos lately, is the concept of hypocrisy or contradiction. As a society we tend to hold the view that belief is something sacred and unchanging...those who "lose faith" are looked down upon, as are those who can't seem to settle on one spiritual path. "Seekers" are only accepted if they are seeking what the respondent has "found," and not always even then. Many times I've heard statements to the effect that one should "bloom where planted" spiritually, whether because it is too difficult to change, or because it is unfair for children to feel their parents' spiritual instability.

Specifically in YouTube videos, the question becomes "am I contradicting my opinions from earlier videos?" Because YouTubers are in the public eye, they seem to feel a need to be steady in their beliefs and what they share with others. In a way, that's laudable...no one wants to take advice from someone who will only change their minds in a few weeks, particularly on something so integral as their spiritual path. On the other hand, Mandi See was particularly insightful this morning when she pointed out that by not allowing ourselves to change and evolve in our beliefs, we hold ourselves back from journeys we may need to make in our spiritual path in order to grow.

I have to admit to having feelings of being wishy-washy and wishing I could go back and "delete videos" from my life when my path takes a different turn. Was I wrong to have thought a particular path was for me, when later it was revealed not to be? This desire not to be wrong does me a disservice when my ultimate goal is to learn as much as I can and grow as a human being. I need to look back at my path and think, "look how far I've come, and how broadly I've traveled!" not "look at all the wrong turns in my past." I would not be who I am today without having gone through the turns that I did, and I do believe I am a better person for it. I simply need to let go of how others view me, and look to how I view myself. I am not contradictory, I am growing, and these new leaves shade the leaves that came before.

Greeting the Goddess

Earth power

Photo courtesy of Google images

Perhaps for those who live in California or around the Pacific, where seismic activity is a normal occurrence, the reaction to yesterday's earthquake in Virginia is a little on the ridiculous side. Several friends from that side of the continent scoffed at the level of news coverage from national media outlets, and I found myself rolling my eyes a bit when I realized that an unusual quake in Colorado at a similar magnitude received barely any coverage at all. Since it was the first earthquake that I could feel in any measurable way, however, I wouldn't be truthful if I didn't admit that I was jumpy and excitable after feeling the earth move beneath my feet. Once I learned that damage was minimal, I was ready to celebrate with an earthquake party, but it seems that other East Coasters were more ready to hunker down and await the Second Coming. ~sigh~

I'll be respectful of the views of others and not mock believers the way the West Coast has mocked all of us on this side of the country. Instead, I am meditating on the power that I felt rippling through the ground beneath me, shaking the house to a rattling, causing people to stop in their tracks or run outside to confer with the neighbors. My own neighbor told me of an earthquake she experienced on her grandparents' farm many years ago, when the main indicator that something wasn't right from her place in the field was the swaying of a power line when there wasn't a breath of breeze. The sense of something greater at work gave me cold chills.

Whether we take it for granted or not, the power of the earth that builds up and releases in a shudder across the land is an amazing thing. Our earth is an amazing structure that allows us to live on its surface. We shouldn't take for granted how tenuous our lives could be if that system should become unbalanced.

I find myself unbalanced by yesterday's excitement. The shock of the unusual shook me out of my complacency, but now I feel the need to develop a new equilibrium, at least until the next event ripples through me again.

"Spiritual but not Religious"

Photo courtesy of Photobucket.com

When I took a comparative religions class, our professor outlined the religions we would be covering. He was quick to tell us that we would not be studying "spiritualism" or Neo-Paganism, "that New Age stuff people are into these days." His reasoning was that no one could give him a strong answer when he asked what it meant to be "spiritual," thus he didn't believe it could be categorized as a religion.

I suppose in his way he was right. Spiritualism isn't exactly a "religion," as we think of organized religions. There are no defined authorities, no rites or rituals, not even a community of agreement much of the time. Neo-Paganism, of course, offers these things in one form or another, but my professor discounted this branch of belief and practice as a fad. It seems that young religions never get the respect they earn with age.

I consider myself spiritual, but not religious at this point. I believe there is a power out there, whatever form it may take, or it may be formless. I have no religion, no rites to practice. I dabble at the rites and rituals of some, but more out of curiosity than true belief or practice. Nothing has felt completely like "home" yet, and so I continue searching. I'm still disturbed at times by the implications of not having a religion, not having a "strong argument" for what I feel and why. But maybe that's part of the journey, finding those things, or letting them find me.

Moonlighting

Image courtesy astrobob.areavoices.com, via Google Images.

I've been feeling out of sorts of late. I decided to try Flora Peterson's lunar challenge, observing the moon every night possible for a month. Some nights have been cloudy, others the moon hasn't been visible until early morning, rather than night. I missed the full moon, my favorite time, due to storms. But I have found that there is something calming and restorative, as well as energizing, about standing and taking in the moon. I can certainly understand why drawing down the moon has such a draw...who wouldn't want to take in the feelings the moon engenders and draw its source near?

Make a Note of It

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, as always, but this morning was the first time I felt the urge to write something down. Although I've read and heard a lot about people keeping a Book of Shadows, I haven't felt a pull toward keeping one for myself. I just haven't been at the point of a commitment yet, and keeping a book sounds very much like a commitment to me.

However, as I was reading about Celtic traditions this morning, I came across a listing for the names of the full moons. I have a strong connection with the moon and night, and as I was reading the list I felt a desire to write these names down. Even as the thought passed through my mind that I could simply look them up online or enter these into a word document or notepad, the need for a book to write them in pressed more firmly on my mind. Thus my own book has been born...not necessarily a Book of Shadows, but a book of notes that may one day lead to that. Or it may remain a book of notes on nature or history that I keep with me. Either way, I feel even more firmly that I have begun.